Night Wars at Half-Awake

For those who have slept in a room with Tony, the following disclosure will likely not surprise you. Everyone else, here's a little skeleton from our closet to yours.

My theory about Tony's sleep habits is that he never goes into a deep enough sleep to warrant normal sleep behaviors--you know, lying there, maybe turning over a couple times, a little snore or snuffle, but largely immobile throughout the night. Ha! Tony surprises me (or scares me witless) almost nightly. I admit, I thoroughly enjoy telling him of his antics the following morning as he can never seem to remember them. 

I'll go to get out of bed to take care of the baby only to be yanked back by my drawers by my loving husband. He demands I answer his nonsense questions, he sits up & throws pillows. Yes, the scenarios are endless. Little did he know I was building up my own subconscious resentment for my many 'mistreatments'...

My exhausted body finally fell asleep after helping the sick babe one too many times that fateful night. In Tony's version he says I suddenly leaned over & viciously poked him in his eyeball for no reason. *My addendum includes that I'm sure he was doing something to me first so my sleep-deprived self automatically retaliated, causing him more pain than his circadian rhythm could maintain, therefore startling him into at least part-wakefulness.* 

Fast-foward a few minutes & I'm half awake, rustling around for the misplaced sheet. No luck. What about at the very end of the bed, where it's tucked into the mattress? Nope. What the? Little did I know Tony was on his side of the bed maniacally whisper-giggling about the success of his half-awake plot of revenge. He sure showed me! 

The next morning as I asked about the mysterious missing sheet I looked up to discover it over by the closet?  As Tony related to me the story of his injury & happily told me he then yanked the sheet out of the bed I wrinkled in confusion & asked, "Why?" He paused, all at once, looking totally dumbfounded, "I have no idea."
And thus concludes this night war...