I've been asked by several, including Tony, "Why in the world do you want to give birth naturally?!" Because of those questions I started to dig deep to figure out exactly why this was so important to me. Since I came pretty close to doing it naturally last time (not really on purpose) I knew the pain is incredibly intense, but I was sooo close. There are lots fewer "what ifs" health-risk-wise doing it naturally of course, & that was a big motivation--for my baby to come into this world as safely as possible. And then the midwife said my recovery would likely be so much quicker without one, so there was that. But it was more. It went deeper. I wanted to fully experience child-birth in all of its raw beauty (and yes, pain). Our bodies are made to do this incredible feat, and thanks to modern technology it's so much safer than say, back in pioneer-women times when there was no choice. Am I crazy? I asked myself that question a lot. I vascillated back and forth. I knew that either way I wanted to be committed because otherwise I knew I'd 'give in' when the pain hit. Don't get me wrong, I'm not totally against pain meds, I had 2 great epidurals with the boys & Ari, but both times I came away feeling like I personally had been cheated. Like I missed out on something incredible. This time around it became a lot more spiritual in nature as well. I like to be in control, and I DON'T like pain, so putting this totally in His hands became my way of coming closer to Him & personally sacrificing my will to His. This may not make sense to some & having been on the other side, I get it. But I also became more committed and determined with each day, feeling like, with His help, I could do it. And...with the help of Him, Tony, the midwife & a short labor, we did!
We got to the hospital about 8:00pm & I was dilated to 6 (I guess all that yuckiness/contractions was/were doing something after all)! Since that was where my will started to crumble with both other labors I was encouraged. They had to start my antibiotics right away because I was Strep B positive (again), but it was happening so fast, I just wasn't sure we had the needed 4 hours for it to get into my system so I was a bit worried about that. The pain was definitely getting intense, but with my concentrated breathing, the birthing ball & Tony pressing on my pain points in my back it was doable. We had talked & prepared quite a bit together & I knew if this was going to work, I needed his full support. I had it, and he. was. amazing. Patient, didn't freak out about anything & was immediately responsive & willing to do anything I needed. I moved to the shower, on the ball & that was my sweet spot. First off, I had music going & it helped much more than I thought it would. I chose some piano pieces off iTunes & added some of my favorite Mindy Gledhill songs (highly recommend). She has such a soothing voice & I felt like they might be just what I needed. They were. In fact, in between the contractions I was humming & singing her songs to keep me calm & focused. Also, the lights were down low & I used lots of vocalization (something I previously did NOT think was 'me' or something I would use, but it helped immensely). Then the midwife showed up & she provided the other crucial element--someone who had been through this before, knew what signs to look for & could see that light at the end of the tunnel & propel me toward it. Tony provided the perfect, unflagging emotional & physical support I needed. There were a few times I just didn't know if I could keep doing it & I made the mistake of thinking about the utter relief I felt after getting the epidurals the other times, but then something changed. I feel like God intervened for me & changed my frame of mind. Suddenly I no longer thought about whether or not I could do it, I just focused on doing it, one contraction at a time. That made all the difference. The midwife stepped out to get me some juice & as soon as she left, I knew something was happening. I didn't get that 'overwhelming urge' to push per se, but maybe that's just because I've never felt that particular sensation before. Either way, it was incredible & exciting & scary. My baby was so close & telling myself that (out loud even) helped me keep my mind where it needed to be. I moved to the birthing stool & entered a whole new realm of pain. However, this time it was welcome pain. More progressive, the-end-is-in-sight pain. For some reason the pushing took longer than I thought (maybe just because this time I could
feel all that was going on!), but really it only lasted about 30 minutes. When they told me the baby's head was crowning it did feel pretty "fiery," but I had blissful rest from the contractions. In fact, at one point I just wanted to do nothing because it felt so much better than when the contractions were so intense. Eventually some major pain kicked in again & 'convinced' me to keep on pushing. They had me reach down & feel his head (another thing I didn't think I would do!) & when I felt it the 2nd time & could feel how much
more head had come out, wow, that was just what I needed. As I really bore down I surprised myself one more time & yelled (?) vocalized (?) through the last pushes. I didn't feel out of control, but the noise just naturally came out & I wasn't fighting it. One more push & then I heard his beautiful cry. At 10:33pm on June 13th, an hour & a half from his 'due' date (2 1/2 hrs from when we got to the hospital) little Rhett was finally here! I simply cannot describe the joy,
relief, and total thrill of that moment. Knowing I had done it, and that Tony was there with me. Immediately I was handed mr. miracle himself & kept whispering, "oh, baby, little baby, you're here!" A true, personal miracle that I was blessed to be part of.
Tony is holding my "stay focused" cards that have scriptures & quotes I hoped would help me remember why I wanted to go for a natural birth & give me strength. I read them a lot leading up to the birth, but then just thought about a few of my favorites in the middle of the intensity--it really helped me focus!
Here he is, Rhett Moroni Dayton (Rhett for Tony's brother, Brett & Moroni of course is a BOM name, but also a family name on the Dayton side!), in all his slumbering glory at 7 lbs, 4 oz...my miracle in the flesh! Look closely & you can see his little freckle/birth mark on his forehead...a first for our family. There is also a hint of a dimple by his mouth, that would be fun too!
Our incredible midwife whom we love and adore & are hoping to adopt someday :)
The whole crew the next day (The boys love hospitals...rare t.v. watching, being treated by Nana at the hospital cafeteria & of course, cute new siblings...what could be better?)!
Ari loved the discovery that his bed was on wheels...I actually wish we could take this bed home with us, she can't reach into it unless she's standing on something,
that would be handy to have with this munchkin around.
The three brotherly musketeers.
Our Nana. Another true hero in human/mother form. She has done SO much while she's been here & we are so very very grateful!
