Sarin (my sis) asked me to write about a time I received an answer, but it took time & patience--waiting upon the Lord--for her seminary class (she teaches 40(!!) 14 year-olds). Since I publish my blog entries into a book every year like this:
I decided I wanted this story as part of our history.
When we found out we were moving here to Indiana, as an OCD mother of 2, soon-to-be 3 I was very worried about finding a good house, in a good school district/, not too old/run-down, with a back-yard, but incredibly inexpensive since we didn't know what the new job based on commission was going to be like. I got a specific feeling when I started looking that things would work out & we would be taken care of. That helped immensely. Fast-forward a few months when I flew out there, nearly 8 months pregnant & I am now frantically looking for a house that might fit at least some of those criteria. Tony & I, the 2, 7 year-old boys, the cat & a lizard were living in a one-room hotel-type room with a 'landlady' who was putting pressure on us to find a place ASAP. I combed the newspapers daily, called a bazillion Craigslist ads & finally out of desperation started driving up & down random streets looking for 'for rent' signs. This was with the boys in tow in the non-air conditioned tiny truck in Indiana humidity of 1000%. Not my favorite memory. Finally we found one place I felt would be ok, but still I felt strongly that it wasn't necessarily the house that went along with that feeling I had back in Idaho. Sure enough, school concerns, serious money worries, mold problems, smell issues & lots of 'fix-ups' started emerging, making me feel disgruntled, frustrated & a perfect ulcer candidate. I was constantly, deeply stressed out and had permanent 'worry lines' on my forehead the harder things got. Didn't I get an answer that it would work out? What happened? Did I miss the boat somehow, not find the right place because I wasn't in tune with the Spirit? Was I just being silly, Tony seemed to be okay with it, why couldn't I just learn to be content? A year & a half later I was still wondering when wow, things really started firing up. Both cars exploded within a few days of each other (ok, not literally, but almost) & one was now only worth $200--for parts. Then our landlord told us he unexpectedly needed his house back in 60 days, right after Christmas. I was also pregnant again & in the sicko stage. And on & on...the list was pretty impressive actually (see THIS post for all the awesomeness). So now I'm frantically looking [again] for a house/apt & because of not wanting to change the boys' school & also needing it to be on the cheapo side we moved into government-subsidized housing. It was okay, but again, very cramped for the 6 of us, we had an issue with some serious cigarette smoke next door seeping through to our place, there was no washer-dryer (for a mommy of 4 this was a serious issue!), dishwasher, garage/storage, & to top it off I found out I couldn't teach my music lessons there which was a crucial part of our income--you get the idea. I started wondering anew about feeling things would work out, but I finally started coming around. Instead of moping & being depressed, I started thinking, alright, I obviously am supposed to learn from this. I must need to learn a thing or 10 about being happy no matter what my circumstances are. So, 6 months later of exercising my faith that it would work out eventually, we find we need to move again. By this time I pretty much despise Craigslist, but I'm determined to get a better school situation for our boys. Well, apparently I learned my lesson at least in part because whamo, one day, after all those months/years of searching we found a house. We found a rental house in an amazing school district, it's clean, in the perfect neighborhood/town, we have a backyard, we can have a cat & a garden, I have my washer...I tell you, after the other places it's a perfect dream come true! Craigslist & I are now friends once more. I felt content, peaceful & incredibly grateful. And then, while I was taking some stuff to the new place the Spirit spoke loudly to my mind, "This is the answer from so long ago. This was a test." I felt so overwhelmed. My whole life I've been taught that sometimes answers take awhile in coming, that they may not come in the way you expect them, etc. but I had never once applied it to this situation. I pondered about all I had learned/relearned in the last couple years of waiting. I had learned to expect less, to be patient & content, continue to serve amidst the struggling, ponder my scriptures more deeply & to word my prayers differently. I realized I would not have been nearly so grateful for our current house had we not gone through the others first because while this place does have a few things that are less than ideal it pales in the comparison. Some of you may think, "wow, all that over a house?!" but it just proves how much the Lord cares. He knows how important it is to me. He wanted me to deepen my faith & patience (have I mentioned I am NOT a patient person?). And now, in hindsight I can truly see what a fabulous growing experience it was. Too bad it took me 2 years before I learned enough for Him to be able to bless me :)
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